Everybody’s been there. We have all experienced a serious crush and planned out our wedding all in one glance. However, just because you can already pick out your children’s names doesn’t mean you’re going to know exactly what to say to the guy on your first date.
For it not to go terribly wrong and you uncover something you shouldn’t, you should find out what not to do on a first date, and better your chances with this man.
I myself have experienced many awkward first dates and have had some pretty terrible first date conversations. I’m here to help you save your future marriage.
1. Do not talk about your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend
From what I have experienced, guys/girls couldn’t really care less about your exes on your first date. Or really, any date for that matter. If this is your first time out with them, why spend the whole night talking about somebody else? All it shows is that you clearly are nowhere near over this person and you are using your date as a rebound. It’s a real turn-off.
You might be wondering; how is it at all possible to talk about my ex on a first date? Trust me my friends, very easy. For example, if you are out at a restaurant or a hangout around town that you and your ex have been to together, you WILL remember it at that very moment in time.
You will then contract a very serious case of foot-in-mouth disease and feel the need to tell them every experience you have ever had with your ex at that very spot. Trust me when I tell you, go to a restaurant that you have only been to a few times and whenever you feel the need to bring up your ex, take a sip of water or soda.
Keep your mouth full and talk about those Yankees!
2. Do not talk about how your whole day was! An overall impression will do
I’ll put it this way: on a first date does your significant other truly care about how your day was? Of course they care, however, only slightly as much as you truly think.
What I mean is, they don’t really care enough to know what Betsy did to Amber and how John is cheating on Claire and how you’re pretty sure Claire is sleeping with John’s brother. Unfortunately, you will have to save that juicy Claire and John’s brother story for another date and time. Or maybe, you should only share it with your best friend.
In other words, just keep it brief. Give them the readers digest version of your day. There are many ways to do that without saying ‘fine’ or going into explicit detail. You can find your happy medium to keep your date interested and completely attentive.
Believe me when I tell you, on your first date, them asking you about how your day was will come up two or more times. It’s then that you know you can dive a little bit further into your story, but not too much!
3. Do not talk about your date’s food choices
Those of us (myself included) who don’t take diets seriously really don’t want to hear about why you don’t eat French fries, on the first date. I’m not saying this to be rude; I’m saying this because you will come off as slightly rude.
If I’m sitting there chewing on wings and fries while you have a grilled chicken salad, which is totally fine, by the way, do not sit there while I’m eating and tell me about what is really in my wings and how many calories are in my fries. I don’t want to hear that.
Honestly, it will make your date just feel completely awkward and uncomfortable eating in front of you. They will feel judged and looked down upon because you felt the need to express your opinions about what they decided to eat on your first date. Everybody has their opinions, but there is a time and a place to bring these opinions up. Your first date is not one of them.
4. Do not talk about money or politics
To be frank, conversations about money, politics, and financial debt are such buzz kills they can bring anyone down. I can personally say that I have never started a conversation on any of these topics. I’m in a relationship right now that has been going on for over a year, and I have not once talked about politics, he has.
You know what was going through my mind? “I love you so, so much, but stab me in the eye with a rusty fork if you must, I really don’t care about Obama. I’ll talk about sports, you like sports, right? Let’s talk about sports!” I hate sports…
Why are these topics particularly off-putting for most people? For someone like me, who doesn’t care to watch the news, watch presidential speeches, follow up with presidential debates, pay attention to our financial deficit, and so on and so forth, it makes me feel stupid and bored.
You know why? Because never in my life have I said to myself, “hey, Katt Williams; Pimp Chronicles is on, let’s not watch that and just turn on the presidential debate.” I’m sorry buddy, but unfortunately, when it’s a choice between laughing and wanting to gouge out my own eyes…I’m going to go with laughing, every time.
Yet, if you know for a FACT that your date is really into politics or the nations financial debt, be my guest, but know that the conversation will more than likely get heated if you have different views! That’s a whole another story for a different day.
5. Do not talk about the crazy wedding you have planned
Unfortunately, your significant other is probably not as thrilled with how detail oriented your future will be together. They also do not care about the future wedding that you would like either. I actually didn’t follow my own advice and wound up with a terribly awkward first date.
Here’s what happened; jokingly, I once said my whole spiel to this guy about how awesome our kids would look. He, of course, laughed and thought nothing of it, because well, he thought that was the end of the conversation. Well, yes, I did too… and then, good ol’ foot-in-mouth disease got the best of me and I kept going!
I mentioned my future dress, that I would like to get married on the beach, I told him I wanted like six kids, three dogs, to live near my family, you know, just the small, tiny basics.
The color of this poor kid’s face was whiter than a marshmallow. Personally, I thought he was going to faint. At first, I was doing it for a few laughs, and then it was like I was on speed or something. I thought he would be a little more understanding of that. Apparently not…it just got awkward from that point on.
So, from one awkward date to another, do yourselves a favor and keep those ideas hidden so deep in your mind, not even Sookie Stackhouse could find them!
Trust me when I tell you, these five topics are easy to pop into your mind and make you pour your heart out. I can guarantee you your significant other won’t find these topics as entertaining as you might, just yet.
Just remember, keep it fun, stay calm, and above all, just realize that they agreed to go out with you! They are interested in you for your awkward and adorable ways so far. Prove them right and try your hardest to steer clear of foot-in-mouth-disease.
How has your experience with first date disasters been so far? Do you have any advice to share?