I know: It’s necessary and supposed to be exciting and exhilarating and blah blah blah. But if we’re being totally honest, it sucks.
There’s a whole bible of unspoken rules that we’re just supposed to know. There are a million things that could go wrong, but we’re just supposed to smile in the face of terror and say, “I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you.”
And guys, we don’t make it easy on you; I know that. We want you to make the first move, but we want you to wait until we’re ready.
We want you to open our doors and pay for our meals, but we need you to know that we’re independent and capable enough to do those things on our own.
We want you to always let us know where you stand, but you’re lucky if we keep you informed at all.
But what if I were to tell you there was a girl who didn’t play these games? That there was someone out there who genuinely just didn’t bother with these tedious rules?
This girl exists, boys. The carefree girl exists.
But know this: Just because she’s carefree doesn’t mean she’s easy or foolish. There are a few things you need to know before striking a match with one of these girls.
When we say we don’t care what we do on our dates, we mean it.
We’re not trying to trick you into messing up or subconsciously begging you to blow our minds with a once-in-a-lifetime date. We really just don’t care what we do.
Take us to the park, the movies, an ice cream shop, the top of a parking garage with a bottle of wine, whatever.
What we’re doing or where we are isn’t a big deal because, when it comes down to it, we just want to hang out with you.
We want to sit and talk and laugh and be comfortable with each other.
If you want to take us to a nice restaurant and show us off, we definitely won’t complain. But if you want to sit in the middle of a park with a box of goldfish, we’ll still gush about it to our girlfriends the next day.
We aren’t going to pay attention to details, and sometimes it’ll drive you crazy.
I’m not talking details about you; I’m talking general life details.
We aren’t going to check our oil and make sure our tires are full of air as regularly as you’d like us to, so don’t get mad when we call you in the middle of nowhere because we broke down.
Just come get us, and laugh with us at how stupid we were for not filling up the tank sooner.
We aren’t going to pay attention to the instructions on the back of the box when we’re baking your birthday cake, so don’t get upset when you come home to a house full of smoke.
We aren’t going to remember that you had “a thing” at 7 and showed up with your favorite movie at 6:30 for a spontaneous date-night.
Don’t get frustrated and think we weren’t listening, we just got excited to hang out with you and didn’t think about it.
We aren’t being reckless or irresponsible, we’re just thinking about having fun and hanging with you, so don’t let that get to you.
We aren’t going to dwell on our problems, so don’t think we don’t want to talk to you about them.
We know you’re there for us no matter what, and we appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.
We could never tell you how much it means to us that you’ll hold our hand when we’re scared and give us your shoulder when we’re crying.
But nine out of 10 times, we aren’t going to dwell on whatever is bothering us.
What good does it do anyone to worry about something you have no control over?
We want to move on and forget about it and while we might struggle with that for awhile, we’ll struggle with it on our own.
It’s not that we don’t trust you or don’t want your advice, we’re just handling it the only way we know how: on our own. So give us time, and we’ll come back to you.
But the biggest thing you need to know about us is that we care more about you than we’ll ever let on.
We’ve learned over the years that the best way to get through most situations is to act like you don’t care. Laughing off the pain and shrugging off the disappointments is what we know best.
So before you get involved with us, know that we might act like we’re taking things with you casually and that we don’t care about where this “thing” goes, but we’re making every step so carefully.
We’re terrified you’ll figure out we aren’t what you want, and it’s easier to say, “Oh, it’s fine, I didn’t even like him that much” than to say, “My heart is absolutely broken.”
So be spontaneous with us. Laugh with us when we burn dinner and have to order pizza. Again. Give us space to deal with our problems and trust that if we need advice, you’ll be the first one we come to.
Don’t get annoyed when we realize we’ve double-booked a Saturday night and have to meet you for dinner an hour later than originally planned.
Understand that we care for you, we aren’t putting you on a back-burner and we appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.
But realize that sometimes we need you to see through that, and sometimes we need you to be the place where we can fall apart.
Odds are, you’ll be one of very few people we even let see us at that point, and that’s really the biggest way we could show you just how much we care.