You’ve probably heard people tell you to raise your standards if you want to attract the right man into your life. I’m here to tell you that if you’re still single when you don’t want to be, the problem may be that your standards are too high!
Here are 4 signs your standards are too high in dating:
1. You expect the other person to be on the same spiritual level as you
I recently heard a pastor say that out of all the married couples she and her husband have counseled, none of them have ever been in the same place spiritually at the same time.
As a married woman, I have discovered this to be true. There have been times when I had to encourage my husband and other times when his faith was stronger than mine! Don’t overlook a potential partner just because his relationship with God doesn’t look like your relationship with God.
2. You expect the other person to have the same interests as you
I chatted with a woman on a plane once who was going through a divorce. She told me her next relationship would have to be with someone who liked to read books and who enjoyed quiet weekends at home just like she did.
I told her that would make for one BORING relationship! It’s great to share common interests with someone, but the fact that you and your partner both like the same things won’t determine compatibility.
3. You have a (long) checklist of things a potential partner must fulfill before you’ll go out on date with him.
I heard a woman say she had a list of questions she’d ask a man before she’d even go out with him. She wanted to know his credit score, whether he had a 5-year financial plan, and how he treated his mama before she’d accept a simple coffee date!
4. You won’t go out with someone who isn’t your type.
I had a matchmaking client pass up on a man who had EVERYTHING she wanted because he wasn’t her type. I calmly pointed out to her that her type was an emotionally unavailable bad boy who left her heartbroken and confused. It’s one thing to not feel any attraction for a person. But if your type never results in a healthy relationship, it’s time to loosen up a bit. I encourage my clients to date outside their type at least once. Love comes in unexpected packages!
If your standards are too high they will become stumbling blocks. By asking you to lower your standards, I’m not asking you to settle. I’m challenging you to compromise on the things you think are necessary to be happy, so you can find the relationship of your dreams.