Do you suspect that your boyfriend is lying to you, but you can’t quite tell for sure? Here are some signs that can help you get to the bottom of it! By Bennett O’Brien
Being lied to by your partner can be painful and frustrating, not to mention annoying. In some cases, it can even lead to a breakup, or at the very least, a fight. No one wants to be lied to, but sometimes boyfriends still do it.
There are many reasons why your boyfriend might be lying to you. He might be cheating on you. Or he might be hanging out with people, doing things, or going places that he knows you don’t approve of, and he doesn’t want you to find out. However, relationships are built on trust. So it is important to be able to tell whether or not you can trust your man.
Signs that he’s lying to you
Here are the little things your boyfriend might do to give away the fact that he’s lying.
#1 He avoids eye contact. The reason behind this is that sometimes you can read someone or get extra information about what they are saying by looking into their eyes. Most people are aware of this, and so, if your boyfriend is lying, it would make sense that he would try to avoid looking into your eyes.
Also, he might be trying to avoid eye contact because he feels guilty. Looking in your eyes forces him to accept the guilt because he’s directly looking at the victim of his betrayal. Avoiding eye contact is an attempt to avoid enhanced feelings of guilt.
#2 He is fidgeting a lot. Just like a poker player who is trying to bluff his opponent, your boyfriend may fidget a lot if he is lying to you. Lying usually makes people uncomfortable, because they know they are consciously deceiving someone.
Oftentimes the body reacts to such nervousness and discomfort with involuntary physical responses. This is an effective means of catching him in a lie, because fidgeting is usually something that your boyfriend won’t be able to control.
#3 He is mixing up his facts. The thing with lies is that in order to successfully tell one lie, you have to tell more lies to cover all of the information. For example, if you are lying about going to the grocery store, you may also have to lie about running into your friend, or buying some milk, just to make it seem believable.
But, the more lies you tell, the more likely you are to mix up some facts. So, if you catch your boyfriend mixing up facts, this could be an important sign that he might be lying. If he says he was hanging out with his friend Steve, but he had mentioned earlier that Steve was out of town, you can be sure that there’s a lie in there somewhere that he’s trying to cover up.
#4 He is constantly tense around you. This sign may be a little less obvious because there could be multiple reasons for being tense. However, if your boyfriend is constantly tense around you, or never feels completely relaxed, he could be lying to you.
Maybe he is worried that you are going to catch him. Or maybe he feels guilty or ashamed. Whatever the case is, if he is constantly jumping at sudden noises, or otherwise acting defensive whenever you ask something, it might be something to watch out for.
#5 There is an unexplainable distance between you and him. If you feel like there is a distance between you and your boyfriend, but you can’t understand why, this could be a sign that he is lying. He may be withholding important information, or intentionally deceiving you. Whatever the case, he may be fully aware of why there is a distance between you two, but he just refuses to tell you.
Perhaps you can address the feelings you are having with him and see how he responds. This may give you further information that you can work with. Hopefully he isn’t lying. Who knows, maybe it was just that his sports team is having a bad season!
#6 He is extremely defensive. If your boyfriend is constantly ready to argue or defend himself at the slightest notice, this could mean he has been lying to you. His trumped up need to defend himself may be a compensation for the wrong that he knows he has secretly done to you.
So if he is jumping up and down to defend himself in a completely disproportionate way to what is happening, it may be because he is unconsciously trying to put up a defensive wall to prevent you from finding out that he’s lying.
#7 He claims to be doing unusual things at unusual times. It can be hard to come up with a credible lie when you’re caught off guard. So when you call up your boyfriend at 10pm, and his initial instinct is to say that he’s watching football at his friend’s place despite there being no game on or any noise in the background, you better be prepared to confront him about it. It’s not that you should be immediately suspicious, but it does help to cross-check what he’s saying with what you can observe.
#8 He is avoiding you. General avoidance is another classic sign that he is lying to you. If your boyfriend is lying to you, he may simply not want to be around you as much. It could be because he doesn’t want you to somehow figure out that he is lying, or because he feels guilty. Either way, avoidance is definitely a reason to be suspicious that he is not being honest with you.
#9 He doesn’t seem like himself. Being a chronic liar can take a toll on your boyfriend’s personality. He may become less happy or less enthusiastic about things. Lying takes a lot of energy, and it also tends to lead to negative personality changes.
Where your boyfriend might have been more carefree or laid back, lying may have sapped his energy and healthy mindset. So if you notice that he is becoming a lot moodier or more dramatic in general, it could be that his usual positivity is being weighed down by the burden of his lies.