Before I was married, I never met guys like they did in the movies nor did I meet them in what would be considered real-life scenarios either. Actually, if I were to be 100% honest I dated sporadically while my girlfriends were jumping from one guy to another. It wasn’t because they were more promiscuous than me and it wasn’t because I was more of a prude than them, it was just that I was painfully shy.
Back then, it was a different story though. I thought I wasn’t pretty enough, I believed I wasn’t slim enough, but in actual fact it was all down to the way guys perceived me – they thought I was unapproachable and it had nothing to do with how I looked.
I do consider myself to be a friendly person; however, I was never game enough to chat to guys. I always waited for them to come to me… I waited and waited and it wasn’t really until I met my now husband that I realized I was doing it all wrong, but then again I wouldn’t change it for the world because maybe then our paths would never have crossed.
So, the question on all your pretty lips is, how can you get a guy to approach you? Not only that though, how can you get him to be interested enough to keep speaking to you and even ask for your number?
#1 You Have a Beautiful Smile, Smile More
When it comes to a guy approaching a girl, he’s almost always going to approach the girl who’s smiling. Many men will be quick to admit that they’re a little bit wimpy when it comes to approaching women anywhere whether it is in the park, the bar or even at work. If you’re not smiling, it makes you appear standoffish and they won’t ever have the confidence to come up to you if they sense you’re not interested.
Men read a smile as a signal and 80% of the time if you smile at a guy it’s because you’re interested too. Of course, there is never a 100% certainty with regard to dating, but trust me: A smile can go a long way. If you take the initiative to show your pearly whites a little bit more, he’ll feel more relaxed about approaching you. Not only that, smiling makes you appear less uptight, kinder and more sincere – three qualities that men look for in a woman.
#2 Don’t Scare Them Off By Going En Masse!
If you’ve got it in your head that you’re on a man-hunting mission then you need to stick to just heading out with only one other female companion. If a guy spots a girl he’s attracted to amongst a gaggle of girls in a bar, he’s going to freak out; it’s very unlikely he will even approach you in the fear of being judged, ridiculed or being put through the third degree. The same goes for hanging out with guys!
Now, I’m not telling you to ditch your guy friends because I know they can be really fun, but if you’re looking to attract attention from other males, they will never approach you in fear of the guys you’re with thinking one is your boyfriend or over-zealous brother.
#3 The Law Of Attraction!
If you believe in the law of attraction then you’ll certainly already know that like people attract like people. For example, if you’re looking to attract those fun guys who live on the edge a little and are exciting to be with then you need to come across as the same.
Now, let’s flip that around for a minute, let’s say you’re standing in the corner with a sour look on your face not smiling with your arms crossed, guess what kind of guys you’re going to attract? That’s right, jerks! You’re either going to attract those guys of the same mentality or even worse, those few idiots who’re likely to place bets with the boys to see who can make you smile.
The women who get approached more by decent guys are those who’re sending out awesome vibes. No matter what, you need to look like you’re having fun despite the fact that the music’s terrible and you’d much rather be at home in bed with 50 Shades of Gray.
#4 Don’t Be Too Easy!
Perhaps this is also where I was getting it wrong. Any guy who did show interest in me back in the day quickly disappeared when they discovered I was an eager beaver. I’m certainly not permitting you to go out and be a player and mess with guys’ heads because that’s not cool at all, what I am saying though is don’t be too easy.
We can put it down to the male ego thing; men love a little bit of a challenge – they want to feel like they’re wooing you and winning you over. So here you need to make it easier for them to come up to you by smiling and using the right body language and playing it cool when it comes to chatting, and for goodness sake don’t go rushing home with him immediately because it’s very unlikely he’s going to be there the next day!
#5 Let Him See You Looking
If you see a guy you think looks cute from a distance, don’t be afraid to momentarily lock eyes with him. The key here is to appear a little bashful. Make eye contact, avert your gaze downwards a little and smile at him. Now, don’t giving him a freaky grin that would rival Chucky’s, a small shy smile will suffice, but don’t forget it!
#6 Watch How You Dress
If you go out with everything hanging out leaving nothing to the imagination, you’re surely going to get guys to notice you and approach you – all the wrong ones who are only after one thing because you look like a s**t!
Wear something cute by all means, but do be a little bit more modest so guys will take you more seriously and you won’t attract those men who are only looking for s*x.
#7 Don’t Smoke And Get Drunk
Now I really do sound like a prude, but I speak the honest truth here. Most men can’t stand it when a girl smokes, so if you can, avoid it! The same goes for getting drunk. Of course, I’m certainly not the girl who would ever advocate going out stone cold sober, but don’t get off your face drunk either because the only men who will ever approach a drunk girl are the men who only want s*x – a.k.a. the guys who aren’t going to stick around.
#8 Be Confident
I’ve said it a million times before: Men love confidence. To them, a woman with confidence is one of the s*xiest things ever. There’s definitely a very fine line between being confident and being aggressive and overbearing, but there’s a clear line between confidence and shyness.
If you come across as overly shy men won’t approach you for a number of reasons, but mainly because (a) they’ll think you’re not interested, and (b) they fear that you’re too shy to strike up a conversation. So let your inner goddess shine and attract those men by oozing confidence.
#9 Look Like You’re Having Fun
We’ve already mentioned smiling, but laughing also goes a long way. Make it look like you’re enjoying yourself. Smile and laugh with whoever you’re with and your positive energy will brush off on others.
Basically, I went about trying to get guys interested in me the wrong way. I put on too much makeup, wore overly short skirts and was shy… what an oxymoron that is!