Whether a hardship or joy, life adds weight to a marriage. For example, a financial hardship in marriage can bring the weight of bill collectors and the feeling of not having enough. On the other hand, the joyous news of having a baby brings weight as well. Weight comes with thoughts like what are we going to name her – can we agree, we need furniture for a baby room, what about health and life insurance, and don’t forget her education. As you can see, every situation comes with it’s own set of weights. These weights can tear you down or make you strong. A solid foundation helps ensure the weights of life make your marriage strong.
These 6 secrets will help build a strong marriage foundation.
1. Two Whole Individuals – Marriage is one place where the math equation ½ + ½ does not equal one whole. It’s imperative in marriage that each partner get the support they need to stand in their greatness as an individual, knowing that they are enough. Insecurities and past baggage will take it’s toll if not dealt with in a positive manner. In marriage 1+1= 1 united unit.
2. Love – As unromantic as it sounds, love is a decision. Each partner must decide to love. This love may or may not come with goose bumps and butterflies. If it does, great. If it doesn’t, that’s alright too, because love is an act you decide on. A successful marriage needs two people who have decided to love each other.
3. Trust – This a major in a marriage covenant. It is something that is gained and increases over time with trust worthy actions. Trust is not automatic. It takes time, YET it can be lost, with one seemingly harmless violation. Effort must be made to honor each other with trust worthy actions.
4. Open and Honest Communication – Open and honest communication is an expectation of both partners. Even though women generally talk more than men, this does not negate the need for open and honest communication on both sides. Husbands and wives must learn the art of speaking in a manner that your mate can receive. As well, each must learn to actively listen with a heart to understand.
5. Family Commitment – Whether children are a part of your marriage relationship or not, the two of you are a family. Commitment to this family unit is a must. Each partner needs to know that he or she matters. Your heart actions need to communicate that you are committed. That we will let nothing and no one come between us. Your mate needs to know you are in their corner.
6. A Greater Source – Relying on a source greater than oneself infuses power and strength beyond what we feel is humanly possible. As a Christian, God is the higher source that strengthens two individuals and helps them to live as one cohesive unit. Get God involved in your marriage by continuing to grow in your knowledge and faith.
These six secrets are basic, but they have deep meaning in a marriage covenant. There are other elements that help to build a foundation. This list of six does not cover them all.