We first met in acting class. He, a strong and sculpted health nut. Me, a then chubby drinker. On our first date, as I sucked down a pint of Hoegaarden, I asked him if he also wanted a beer. He explained that he wasn’t into empty calories.
The morning after I first slept over at his place, he made me a gorgeous egg white omelet with sprouted wheat bread, noting how every day should begin with a rich source of protein.
After a few weeks of living together he asked, “So is this the only exercise you do? Just walking?”
Yeah … I’m dating a personal trainer.
My last relationship was with someone who, at 6’4″, could eat whatever he wanted and never gain a pound. Having a partner with a fast metabolism is a quick way for the less genetically blessed partner to gain weight. (We spent WAY too many evenings on the sofa snuggled up with pizza or pork friend rice.)
Then our relationship weakend, and I started drinking more to cope. That definitely didn’t help my figure. By the time we broke up I was at my highest weight—20 pounds heavier than my current weight.
As a former health buff living in LA, I knew what I should and shouldn’t be doing to take care of my curves. But when I moved to Manhattan? My buffness was blown with late night dinners and 4 AM last calls. I wasn’t fat, but I was … soft and sloppy.
But my new personal trainer boyfriend (or PT BF as we’ll call him) doesn’t get wasted and order fries at 5 AM. And trust me it’s MUCH easier to be healthy when your partner is healthy too.
But it, too, has its downfalls.
Contrary to popular belief, I do not get jealous of him working out with other—potentially fitter!—women. Actually, I encourage him to charm the sweatshirts off those ladies so they’ll sign up for more sessions.
So why is it harder to date someone who leads a healty lifestyle? Because the pressure is real to match my man’s level of leanness.
PT BF never tries to make me feel bad about my body, but we have had our fair share of trainer vs. non-trainer tiffs. For example, he makes the occasional annoying comment about what I’m eating.
“Oh, you want pepperoni again?”
“Oh, so you think I’m FAT?”
I know he doesn’t really think I’m fat, but I’m tired of his overawareness and health snobbery, d*mn it!
I want to eat my cheat meal in peace (without feeling shy). Recently, my friend and I ordered pizza, and I joked that we needed to hide the pizza box so PT BF wouldn’t find the evidence later. But here’s the thing: when he inevitably found the box, he DIDN’T CARE.
Of course he didn’t care, he’s a trainer, not a psychopath!
I (ME!) put pressure on myself because I’m envious of his discipline. He can heroically say no to a bagel! And that makes me jealos.
Our relationship is actually mutually beneficial. Yes, he has inspired me to be healthier, but I have inspired him too. I have inspired him to relax and have a beer with me on occasion!
A little booze and a cheat meal with your lady is not the end of the world.
Restrictive dieting has never worked well for me. I’m always rebelling at some point (and end up gaining more weight then before!). I wanted to develop a way of eating and exercise I could maintain forever, not just for swimsuit season.
So as the time has passed, PT BF has loosened up. He’s ordering a cocktail at dinner, enduldging in his chocolate chip cookie cravings and, once a week, feasting on fancy burgers with me. And me? I’m lifting weights again, popping into spin class and embracing the magic of portion control.
His passion for personal training paired with my calm health consciousness has turned us into a match made in balanced eating and exercise heaven. Although I’m not sure the sight of him weighing chicken breasts on his food scale will ever turn me on. Relationships are about unconditional love, right