Nervous about meeting your guy’s mom and making her like you? Here are 9 simple things you can do to make sure you get on his mother’s good graces! By Michelle Escultura
9 Easy Things You Can Do to Get His Mom to Adore You
Moms can be pretty tricky, particularly if they’re quite protective of their son whom you happen to be dating. For most women, it can feel like a rivalry for attention and affection. You want your boyfriend to shower you with love, but of course his mom deserves some of that love too. It can even spell trouble when you and his mom give him conflicting advice. [Read: 10 ways to get more people to like you]
9 ways to make a great impression on your guy’s mom
Contrary to the horror stories you may see in many romantic comedy movies and series, getting his mom to like you isn’t as hard as it may seem.
So unless you’re dating a guy whose mother is being particularly difficult or averse to you, just follow these tips and you should be a-okay.
#1 Get to know her outside her role of being a mom. When you think of your boyfriend’s mother, what may instantly come to mind is a younger version of her taking care of a toddler version of your boyfriend. But aside from this mental image, there’s more to her than just being the woman who cared for him in his youth.
There’s a lot you can deduce from conversations with your boyfriend or from the things you find in his parents’ home. You may see that she studied in a certain school, that she loves The Beatles or that she’s a business executive in a large company. Keep these non-maternal tidbits of information in your mind and bring them up during the conversation. She’s sure to open up a little more to you.
#2 Avoid generic pleasantries. Nothing makes you seem more boring than a plank of wood than just saying, “It’s nice to meet you” and “How are you?” in every conversation. We’re sure your brain can muster up a little more than that! Get some news from your guy and ask him what his mom has been up to so you can ask about it when you meet.
If she’s been away on business, ask her about her travels. If she has recently seen a certain movie, you can mention that you’ve seen it too. If she has just recovered from an illness, ask her how she’s feeling. You want her to remember you, so you better amp up your conversation game. [Read: 10 ways to be the funny one that everyone likes]
#3 Have an opinion. Again, you’re not aiming for a wooden personality, so an opinion matters. However, we would suggest avoiding talk about religion or politics or child rearing, particularly when there’s wine involved. Regarding everything else, though, don’t just agree and nod politely whenever his mom says something.
One common ground that you can agree on may be actors from the Golden Age of Hollywood. The likes of Richard Burton and Cary Grant are sure to remind her of the classic movies she used to love as a young woman. You can mention that you prefer Marlon Brando’s boy next door charms to James Dean’s bad boy allure. It’s sure to spark a friendly debate.
#4 Know about what she’s into. Find out what it is that she’s passionate about, whether it’s music, movies, art, animals or food. Once you know what it is that she likes, make it a point to read up on it and find out more. If possible, have a feel of the types of things she likes to eat, watch or listen to.
When you mention that you’ve tried some of these things, she may be impressed that you’ve gone through the trouble. She may even teach you a thing or two about it. Even if it’s not your thing, always try to find something constructive about it. She doesn’t expect you to be a younger version of herself, but she may expect you to be a little more open minded about what she likes. [Read: 15 simple ways to instantly be a more likeable person]
#5 Show her how well you know her son. Mothers will always worry about whether or not you can take care of their son. Your guy’s mom has been there since he was born, so she would obviously know every little detail about him, from the age when he got his first tooth to the name of his favorite teacher.
But as her son ages, she’ll realize that she can no longer know every minute detail about his life. That’s where you should step in. Fill her in on the things her son may not have mentioned. For instance, you can say that you had lunch with some of his childhood friends, whom his mom also happens to know. And then you can ask about how they were as kids. This allows you to bridge the gap of information between the phases in your guy’s life.
#6 Ask her about your guy’s childhood. If you know any moms, you may have heard them say that their kids grow up so fast. When their sons are older and independent, they relish the memories of those days when he was just a little boy who would cry to his mama for every booboo he encounters. Encourage his mom to share these little details with you.
This lets her reminisce about those times when her precious little boy was hers alone. And it gives you insight into the adorable little things he was into when he was a kid. It can also make for a good laugh when his mom shares funny stories of the silly things he used to do or say as a child.
#7 Ask her for advice. His mom would love it if you came to her for advice every once in a while. It makes her feel involved in her son’s life, and she would appreciate that you would take the time to ask. It’s best to start small, so at first, ask her for some advice on little things like home décor, types of food your guy might like or even home remedies for little ailments. Later on, when you’ve gotten to know her a lot better, you can ask her for advice on more personal issues, if you believe you still need it.
#8 Gifts can also help. A few gifts here and there can make her a little fonder of you, as long as you do it wisely. Do it too often and she may feel like you’re trying to buy her approval. Not do it at all and she may think you don’t care about her. Gifts on her birthday and on Christmas, plus a few little random gifts scattered through the year should be fine.
Giving a gift should be something you’ve greatly considered. You can’t just buy her a bunch of random stuff that might end up collecting dust. Find out from your guy (or from your conversations with her) if she likes clothes, perfumes, cosmetics or home décor. Then, choose an item that would suit her taste and not just yours.
#9 Acknowledge that she will always be his first love. She’s not your rival; she’s the key to your man’s past. Respect her and thank her for her efforts in raising her son the way she did. Even if she’s not the perfect parent, it’s her own brand of TLC that was able to turn a little boy into the man you eventually fell in love with.
[Read: 8 crucial things to keep in mind when meeting the parents]
Nothing sets a guy’s heart more at ease than the fact that his girlfriend and his mother get along. Use these tips to get on his mom’s good side and get along with her. Exerting the effort now would save you a whole lot of trouble in the long run!