Many people are so busy focusing on finding someone to be in a relationship with that they miss the fact that they’re not actually ready to be involved with anyone at a given time. It may seem that anyone would realize that they don’t really want to be involved with someone, but that’s not always true. There may, instead, be a craving of sorts to have someone in your life and someone that you can share things with. That’s not, however, the same thing as being ready to be in a relationship.
Here are some signs that suggest you might not be ready for a relationship:
1. The men or women you keep being drawn to. Time after time, the person that you’re attracted to is in no way the one that you need to be with. Even though you’re warned that they might be a huge player or a loser, it doesn’t stop you from latching onto them. It also doesn’t take very long to realize that you’ve made a big mistake.
2. You feel as though you must have someone in your life in order to feel happy. That’s another sign that you’re not ready to be involved in a relationship. When you’re invited to a social event, unless you have a date to escort you, it’s likely that you’ll make up an excuse to not attend. This is never a good reason to jump into a relationship. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself first.
Some women feel like are saviors or knights in shining armor, and will look for someone that can be their project. What this translates to is that they need drama in their lives so they find someone that’s so dysfunctional that it will keep them quite occupied in saving him or her. Being a therapist isn’t the same thing as being a boyfriend or girlfriend.
On the flip side, you might want someone to save you. If you’re constantly talking about what a mess your life is in, it’s important to fix all of that before you’re ready for a real relationship. What you’ll most likely do is attract another person who has all of your same issues so that neither of you can get better.
3. You feel like you need someone to complete you. While this sounds great in a movie or in a book, reality is a bit different. There should be no completing. In fact, you might consider looking for a partner who will complement you. That makes you look a lot less needy.
4. You spend more time looking for love than enjoying the interests you have. Granted, you do need to be out there in social situations if you ever plan to meet the right person, but don’t plan all of your outings around “The Hunt.”
5. You haven’t truly and thoroughly dealt with any leftover emotional baggage from previous relationships. That ís also known as the rebound effect and is rarely successful. Another person isn’t necessarily going to take your mind off of your ex.
6. You do not feel as though you can genuinely be your authentic self. There is no need to turn yourself inside out to make sure you’re exactly what someone else wants. Be more concerned about whether or not the other person is exactly what you want, instead.