There is no doubt in my mind I am a way better version of myself when I’m not in a relationship. I f*cking rock when I’m single.
I know this, my friends know this, and my family knows this. It’s no secret.
The only problem is I’m not single. But that doesn’t blind me from fully seeing how “relationship me” is nothing compared to “single me.”
Being single doesn’t make me a better person because I can hook up with men whose names I don’t have to remember, or because I can get drunk without worrying about how my boyfriend feels about my less-than-classy, intoxicated personality.
Luckily, being in a relationship makes that side of me a better person, but there are still parts of me that don’t improve once I’m in that commitment.
1. My gym routine goes out the door.
When I’m single, there is literally nothing stopping me from getting into the gym. I’ll wake up before the sun, or I’ll end up being there until it closes. Some days, I’ll feel like going twice.
But the second I have a boyfriend, the gym seems less and less important. Watching Netflix in bed seems like a better plan than doing squats at the gym.
And all of a sudden, it’s been a month since I’ve stepped foot inside those doors.
2. I start looking like a homeless person on a daily basis.
What’s the point of doing my hair? Yoga pants and a big t-shirt are cute, right? Even if it’s the fourth time this week?
I have this weird concept in my head that if I’m in a relationship, it means I only need to do one of three things: wear a cute outfit, do my hair or wear makeup.
As a single woman, I would take the time every day to get ready because it was important to me.
Somehow, a change in relationship status flips the switch on that.
3. There’s no time for hobbies.
A relationship takes up so much of your time.
Forget that hot yoga class, spending hours in coffee shops, painting a mug for your collection or whatever else makes you feel content in life.
All of a sudden, that little chunk of time out of each day is dedicated to someone else, who isn’t your yoga instructor or daily barista.
4. I forget what healthy eating is.
Going out to dinner multiple nights a week isn’t healthy? Ordering pizza or Chinese food doesn’t make for a balanced diet?
When I’m single, I’m clearly not going out to eat all that often because I refuse to be that person who sits at a table alone, reading the newspaper and pretending like she’s enjoying herself.
So, I make dinner every night and get really into using fresh vegetables and trying new recipes.
Unfortunately, guys don’t always find healthy meals as intriguing as tacos, wings and burgers. And I find it hard to turn down free food.
5. Say bye-bye to my social life.
This is by far my least favorite part of being in a relationship. As someone with a busy schedule pre-relationship, I barely have time for my friends and family.
But I can forget about it once I’m with a guy I have to see every week. Whenever I have some free time, the first person I call is my boyfriend, and I rarely get to calling my friends.
6. I stop planning my life around me.
I know this isn’t always a bad thing, but for me, it seems that way.
I’m young and want to do whatever I want, whenever I want, but it can’t just be about me when I’m in a relationship.
I have to think in terms of “we” instead of “me,” but sometimes when you’re young, you just want to be selfish and not worry about anyone else’s goals.
It’s easy to lose major parts of yourself while in a relationship, and this is why being alone doesn’t seem all that bad to me.
At some point, planning a life around “us” will be a good thing; my social life slowing down will be okay, and my hobbies will be less important than your family.
But right now, I’m young, I’m selfish, and being single makes me a better person