Do you always feel like you get mixed signals from the guy you’re crushing on? You’re not alone! Here’s how you can decode those signs! By Charley Reid
Men, direct as they may be towards their bros, can sometimes fall victim to being less than direct to womenfolk. It’s just hard for some of them to outright say what they want. Sometimes, they know what they want, but saying it out loud to a woman may end up with them getting smacked upside the head. No one wants that. So it’s up to the ladies to do the interpretation when men send mixed signals.
The problem with the interpretation game is that we ladies sometimes have our judgment clouded by our intense attraction to a guy. We want to hold on to the fact that maybe he did lose his phone or maybe he did forget to call you back or maybe he does like you despite the fact that you only see him when he’s drunk and it’s 2am. When it comes to deciphering a guy’s mixed signals, we can sometimes be pretty clueless. [Read: 9 quick ways to know if your crush likes you back]
How to interpret his mixed signals
Everyone sends mixed signals, but it’s women who are usually more attuned to the little nuances that goes along with those signals. Are you confused with what the guy you like says and does? Here’s a guide to their most baffling behaviors.
#1 He says he likes you, but he isn’t looking for a relationship. If you are crushing on a guy, and he tells you this, run. Run far away from him, as fast as you can, and don’t think twice. The fact of the matter is, if a guy likes you, he will not only tell you he likes you, he will show you, and he will definitely want to be with you. He will want to shout it from the roof a la Tom Cruise on OPRAH confessing his love for Katie Holmes.
If a guy says he isn’t ready/looking/wanting/doesn’t have time for a relationship, what he is saying is, sure you two can hang out and by hang out, I mean hook up. This also means he wants to keep his options open, and maybe meet and mingle with whoever he pleases.
If you’ve been giving him all the ‘perks’ of being in a relationship, without actually being in one, why would he change? You’ve been giving him everything he wants, and he’s not had to do any work. So if you’re the girl who has been playing along, because you think you can change his mind and a month from now, he’ll want to date you. Stop. Don’t be this girl.
#2 He texts to see what you’re doing, but never calls and never asks you to do anything. This guy is great at texting, always wanting to know what you’re doing, if you’re going out, and whatever else he decides he wants to know. He’s great at responding, but if you’ve ever tried calling him then usually, and by usually I mean always, mysteriously he never seems to answer.
Why is that? This guy doesn’t want to talk to you? No, this guy is checking in with you, and possibly with a slew of other girls, to see where you’re going out tonight, what bar you’ll be at, etc. He’s basically seeing which girls will be where and doing what. He’ll probably go to the place where the girl he likes the most will be. And if you were that girl, he’d be answering the phone when you have called.
It’s like the scene in Bridesmaids where Kristin Wig has to call Jon Hamm to pick her up, and he tries to get her to give him a blow job. But he realizes he doesn’t actually like her, so she gets out of the car, and when he drives off he yells out something along the lines “you were my 3rd choice anyway!” Don’t make him a priority if you’re just his option.
#3 He doesn’t think you should be ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook. This guy… Oh man. He might consider himself a ‘nonconformist’ and says he doesn’t believe in Facebook relationships, because they usually cause more harm than good. Or maybe your crush is someone in the public eye, or thinks he is, and he tells you some BS about how he thinks it’s best for his career if his relationship status doesn’t say anything.
I know there are many different opinions when it comes to changing your relationship status on Facebook, but from all my observations and experiences, the guys that are actually really into their girlfriends would announce their love to the world, wouldn’t think twice about changing their status, and would do everything to make the girl feel loved. A guy who doesn’t want to change his relationship status might as well be the same guy who goes to a bar and hides his wedding ring. [Read: 12 things you do that will make him think you’re a stalker]
#4 He always wants you to go over to his place. You might get really excited when your crush texts you or calls you, asking you to hang out, even if it is just you going over to his place. But if the only things he asks you to do involve you going over to his place, hooking up, hanging out, and watching movies, this guy is NOT into you the way you are into him.
Having s*x, hooking up, watching movies in bed, then hooking up some more is great and all, but you’ve basically given him everything without him having to wine-and-dine you, or put forth any effort to keep you. If a guy actually likes you, he’ll want to make you feel special. He will want to take you out to dinner. He will want to invite you to the movies. Most importantly, he will want to come to you!
So the next time your guy asks you to come over, change it up. Ask him if he wants to come over to your place, maybe go out to eat, and go bowling. If he says something about how he’s already eaten, or he’s not feeling that great so he’d rather just hang at his crib, ditch him!
#5 He only texts you after midnight. This one is pretty self-explanatory, because this one is basically not a mixed signal at all, and instead a booty-call. It’s pretty obvious that if the only time the guy you like messages you is after midnight, he’s not actually into you. Instead, he just wants to be in you, get it?
And he’s probably been out with friends, meeting girls out, exchanging numbers, but didn’t find anyone that would come home with him. So he’s drunk, bored and horny, and that’s why he thought of you. Don’t fall for this guy, seriously. He’s not giving any mixed signals. He’s just giving you the BS that comes after he’s had a mixture of drinks.
If you’re happy to be a booty call, then go ahead, hang out with this guy all you want. But if you actually like this guy and he does this to you, it’s time you accept the fact he’s just not that into you.
#6 He takes pictures with you, puts them on social media, but… you’re not the only one. If he’s taking pictures of you, and with you, and he puts them up on Facebook, that’s great. He’s showing off, and he’s proud of you. But if you see that not only does he have pictures of you and him together, but you also realize he’s got an entire album of him and various girls, it means this guy is a collector. He likes to show off his “winnings.”
If his friends comment things like “yeah buddy!” or “nice work son!” it’s safe to say you’re just another notch on his belt. This guy cares more about showing off and bragging rights, than he does about you. When you two are out, and he asks to take a picture, it comes across as sweet and romantic, and it makes you feel like he actually likes you. But if he has an album filled with various women, don’t waste any more of your time. It doesn’t matter if they are just friends or not, the point is, these aren’t mixed signals, but the mixture of women he’s talking to. [Read: 11 signs you shouldn’t trust the guy you’re dating]
#7 It takes him a while to respond. If you’ve been texting the guy you like, and out of nowhere, he goes MIA, you should take this as the signal that he may just be ignoring you or playing hard to get. If you don’t hear back from him, and you hear nothing but white noise for hours, days, maybe even weeks, this guy is not for you. He might sort of like you, but he doesn’t like you enough and he’s definitely just weighing all of his options.
We all are connected 24/7, and we all check our social media stuff daily, so there’s no excuse. If this guy has a job, then I can promise you, yes, his phone is charged, no, his dog didn’t eat it, and yes, he did get the texts you sent him asking if he was okay.
We tend to overanalyze guys’ mixed signals, because that makes it easier than accepting the truth that sometimes hurts. But doing this doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it just buys the guy more time to keep you at arm’s length before he can figure out if he’s really into you or not