Love can be pretty unexpected, but how come some people are so lucky in love, while others aren’t? Here’s the secret to having better luck in love! By Danielle Anne Suleik
Popular dead guys have written all sorts of things about love. Some of them were good, while some were downright depressing. It’s okay to know both sides of the story, because that is what makes finding love fantastic. Knowing that people are miserable without it means that there is a point to this lifelong search.
If only love would just drop down on your front doorstep and ask for your hand in marriage, we would all be living in exquisite bliss. Sadly, love doesn’t find its way to most of us, and that’s what makes the prospect of giving up so enticing.
Don’t give up yet though, because there are ways to find true love. It’s okay to wait for it, but it’s better to get out there and make yourself open to the possibilities of finding it. The best part about falling in love is knowing that it’s a prize that was waiting to happen. You can’t appreciate it without working for it. [Read: 15 reasons why being single is also tons of fun]
When do people fall in love?
This question is easier to answer than the traditional, “What is love?” For most people, love develops in time. There is no standard period because love can surprise you in a few moments or arrive slowly within years. It’s different for everyone, but the ending is always the same.
They say love happens when you least expect it. That is absolutely true. You can’t control how it happens or to whom it will happen with. You just have to be ready for it. So when exactly can you fall in love?
#1 Intense circumstances. Surviving a dangerous experience, free-falling on the first date, running away from the cops – all of these are examples of high-intensity experiences. Some of them are illegal, which is not recommended when looking for love, but a simple adrenaline rush can lead two people to believe that they can develop strong emotions for each other. Well, whatever works for you.
#2 Friendship. They say the best foundation for love is a great friendship. Despite the prevalent conflict over being in the friend zone, there are still a lot of friends out there who realize that they’re in love with each other. [Read: Are you falling in love with your friend?]
#3 Courtship. Don’t knock it until you try it. Nothing beats the power of persistence. Do your best to impress the person you like, and show them that they mean the world to you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Just know that you have the advantage of showing your sincerity and having enough exposure to make a difference. Sooner or later, the one you love will realize that you genuinely like them and are able to make reasonable sacrifices to show them that you care.
#4 Love at first sight. Studies have shown that there is a truth to this age-old belief. It may not exactly be love, but it is very close. Scientists consider it a spike in a person’s initial attraction to someone they saw for the first time. It’s not exactly a promise of forever, but it shows that your strong feelings for someone are already there from the start.
#5 Time. Being in love and being in a relationship are completely different things. There is a big gap between the period of attraction and the development of deeper feelings. The good thing is that when you are in a relationship already, falling in love with each other will be easier.
How to get lucky in love?
Like I said before, finding love is not as easy as it sounds. Being open to love, however, is definitely a breeze. It doesn’t sound as appealing as finding love, but humor me on this. Why do people fall in love? They fall in love because they are ready and willing to accept it.
You love your family and friends because you wanted to love them. You didn’t reject the feeling, because you know that there’s nothing to fear from it. This is because it’s easy to accept love from the ones who are willing to give it.
The people who have difficulty finding love are the ones who are searching for it the wrong way. You go out and wear your best clothes, smile for the pretty boys and girls, but never truly know who or what will make you fall in love. Once you realize that finding love means being open to the possibility of it first, everything will fall into place.
Just because they don’t have the best car or the highest-paying job, doesn’t mean that love is immediately off the table. Explore your possibilities and reject the non-negotiables like bad personalities and irresponsible behavior. [Read: 8 types of pervy guys you should never date]
How can you be luckier in love?
Don’t cross out anyone who’s missing an item on your check list. If no one’s around, be someone who’s ready to fall in love. Think that’s too hard? Try these specifics:
#1 Smile. Find something to be happy about that you don’t have to ask for. Look at your life and appreciate the things that you already have. It’ll make things easier for you because you’re not moping around, simply because you haven’t found the love of your life. Besides, everyone knows that the happiest person in the room is the most attractive one.
#2 Be open. I keep saying be open to the possibility of love, but that’s not the only thing you need. You need to show your true colors and be your best self. Trying to be someone you’re not has never really been a success for anyone who wants to be happy. Once a person gets to know the real you, the feelings you develop for each other will inevitably lead to a better and happier relationship.
#3 Have fun. Don’t make the search for true love a job. Don’t invest all your time in finding the person you want to spend your life with. Yes, the global population is significantly imbalanced in terms of gender, but it’s not like everyone’s already paired up. The person for you is still out there. Why not enjoy yourself while waiting for them?
#4 Look beyond the flaws. Your Mr. or Ms. Right probably exists, but they’re not here now, are they? Mr. or Ms. Right Now, however, is right in front of you. You can’t know everything about a person at the first glance. There are layers to every person and not exploring them may cause you to lose your chance at finding love. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, the least you can tell yourself is that you tried.
#5 Stop fixating. The more you fixate on a person that’s not interested, the more you close yourself off to those who want to be in a relationship with you. If you fail to notice the people who should matter, why bother looking for love at all? [Read: 12 signs she’s just not into you]
#6 Look your best. You don’t have to change your appearance, but you do have to improve on it. Wear what’s appropriate in different settings, be as clean as possible and always mind your manners. You never know who you’ll run into or meet in random places, so it’s best to be on your game whenever you go out. [Read: 13 ways to make yourself more attractive]
#7 Be confident. Confidence is the most attractive trait in a person. No matter what style you carry, you will always look amazing if you know you look good. If you appreciate yourself, someone out there will definitely do too.
#8 Go where love goes. That means outside your house. Stop looking at this feature and go outside. Unless you’re adamantly convinced that the love of your life is on OkCupid or Tinder, go out and feel the sun on your skin or the cool and balmy breeze of the night. Make yourself available by not being isolated. Just make sure that you’re having fun and taking care of yourself in the process. [Read: 33 best places to meet eligible men]
Don’t be afraid to look for love, just because people say it’s better to wait for it to come to you. It will arrive whenever it’s supposed to, not because you made the right moves or wore the right outfit. Those things simply help improve on your ability to find the perfect person for you.
Be brave by giving yourself the chance to be seen, heard and understood by the people who will appreciate you. Don’t rely on serendipity alone because that factor simply aides you in finding the one you love. It doesn’t guarantee that you will get it. You have to go out there yourself and accept whatever comes your way.