10 Worst Mistakes Couples Make in a Relationship
Nobody ever said being in a relationship is easy. Luckily, the most common relationship mistakes can be avoided. Here’s what you should watch out for. By Eli Walton
Whether you’re already in a relationship, just starting out or merely have your eye on someone special, it’s important to avoid the most common pitfalls that ruin relationships. The earlier you can start, the better. But if you think your relationship is still worth saving, then it’s never too late.
Finding love, and having a successful relationship is not an easy task. But if you can avoid the most common mistakes, you’re already most of the way there. It’s all the more important when the chemistry is right between you two.
What are the top mistakes people make in relationships?
There’s nothing worse than having a great thing going, and then ruining it with a dumb mistake. That’s the one you’ll never forgive yourself for, and the reason why you need this list.
#1 Foundation of lies. Lots of people lie for lots of reasons. One of the most common reasons for lying is to impress someone you’ve just met. This happens often early in a relationship, where you like someone and want them to think highly of you. It could be about how much money you make or exaggerating some past accomplishment. At the time, it seems totally harmless.
But lies are never innocent. They build on each other, as more and more lies need to be told to protect the first one. Eventually, it will come out, and the longer it takes, the more lies will come crashing down when it happens. Be yourself from the start. Don’t lie, no matter how good it sounds or how innocent it seems. [Read: How to stop lying in your relationship]
#2 Failure to communicate emotionally. Having good communication is essential to a successful relationship. Being a good communicator is about more than just saying what must be said. You have to be a good listener as well. No two people are perfect for each other, and there will always be things to change. But without communication, you’ll never know what those are.
It’s okay to criticize your partner, as long as it’s constructive. If someone’s emotional need is going unfulfilled, then it’s absolutely crucial that they voice that need. A couple that can freely communicate the bad as well as the good, are a couple that will thrive and grow, and stay together for a long, long time. [Read: 9 ways to master the art of constructive criticism]
#3 Failure to communicate physically. Many of the most common problems for couples occur in the bedroom. Meeting each other’s physical needs is just as important in a relationship as fulfilling your emotional needs. While not all s*xual issues can be resolved by talking, most of them can.
It’s crucial to set the tone early in the relationship, to one where you can talk openly to each other about s*x, and offer help and criticism to each other. For many people, this can be embarrassing or difficult to bring up. Just do it in a kind and positive way, and you’ll find it’s not so hard. How can talking about s*x be more awkward than actually having it? Your relationship will be much, much better for both of you if you can be open in the bedroom.
#4 Nip it in the bud. Early in a relationship, it’s easy to let the little things slide. It’s important to try to identify these early on, and do something about them. If your partner feels the need to constantly text and call whenever you’re apart for more than an hour, but you need more space than that, then you should tell them early on. In the beginning they’ll understand. If you wait to tell them, it will only seem suspicious or hurtful.
#5 Ignoring physical needs. Sometimes, someone is just a selfish lover, and talking with them about it changes nothing. If you are not giving in bed, then you are setting your relationship up to fail. Make sure you are meeting your partner’s needs, and your relationship will be much stronger and last much longer. In turn, you can gently hint at what you like to your lover by showing him or her where you would like to be touched. [Read: 12 signs you’re being selfish in your relationship]
#6 Neglecting emotional needs. For a lot of people, there are some things that are mandatory for the emotional health of the relationship. This can include date nights, hand holding, cuddling, or simply saying “I love you.” Everyone is different on this score, but your partner surely has some of these needs, as do you.
If you’re not meeting them, you’re making a big mistake. Of course, you’ve got to find the balance that both of you are comfortable with by coming up with some sort of compromise when it comes to what you both want. [Read: 13 unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]
#7 Ignore it at your peril. Oftentimes in a relationship, there will be something bothering you that doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. It will feel easier to just ignore it. Be careful when doing this though, because these things tend to grow and get worse, and almost never just go away on their own.
You’ve got to communicate. You may be dreading confronting your partner about it, but compared to the hardship over the long-run, and the jeopardy you’re putting your relationship in, it’s much easier to bring it up early. [Read: 10 ways to stop feeling neglected in the relationship]
#8 Overly sensitive. You probably noticed that many items on this list involve communication. One extremely important aspect of communication is being receptive to criticism. You must learn to take criticism without getting your feelings hurt, as long as your partner offers it in a positive and constructive way. And you should expect the same when you offer a critique. You’re adults, you’ve got to act like it.
#9 Cheating. There’s no way that this one wasn’t going to make the list. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. It’s never okay to cheat, so just don’t do it. If it gets to the point where you need to become intimate with someone other than your partner, then you need to break off your original relationship. Trying to hide it and lie about it will catch up with you, and it will destroy the relationship and everything you’ve already put into it. [Read: 10 things emotional cheating does to your relationship]
#10 Mismatch. Sometimes, two people are just incompatible, but they don’t always realize this right away. This one is a mistake committed by both of you, and one with no solution except to end things. Try to do this in a polite and respectful way. Once you’ve figured out that you’re not right for each other, there’s no sense in trying to hurt one another over it. You may even end up being good friends eventually. [Read: 10 ways to stay friends after being intimate]
Nobody’s perfect, and in time, you’ll end up committing some of these mistakes. What’s important is how you deal with them. Eventually, you’ll learn to automatically deal with the roadblocks plaguing your relationship, and in turn, you and your partner can jive to the tune of your hassle-free romance.