Why do men still manage to stray despite how wonderful their current partners are? Let us give you some insight into the mind of the cheating man. By Michelle Escultura
Ah, the perpetual burden of knowing that some people, no matter how well they’re treated, will still cheat on their partners. This may come as a surprise, but there are times when even the most awesome, down to earth, intelligent and gorgeous women can still get cheated on. So what gives? What is it that these men want that their seemingly perfect partners can’t provide?
It may be easy to say that a man would be more likely to cheat on a woman who is lazy, uncaring, abusive, manipulative or just downright boring. Cheating on her is the man’s form of lashing out because of something she doesn’t choose to improve. It’s a common scenario where a man may choose to blame his partner for his own infidelity. But what about those women who have done everything within their power to make sure their man is happy?
Why do men cheat on partners who give them everything?
If you’re baffled out of your mind about how these men find the gall to stray despite having a real keeper as their partner, let us fill you in on the dirty details. Here are some of the most common reasons men give when they cheat on truly wonderful women.
#1 He’s threatened by her. There are women who seem to have it all together. They’ve got great careers. They’re cultured and intelligent. And they know how to please their man. But despite this, the guys they’re with might still cheat simply because he thinks he doesn’t deserve someone so awesome. This is not the woman’s fault at all! It’s the guy’s inability to handle this “threat” that causes him to cheat.
So what does he do? He finds another woman who’s not as great as his girlfriend and uses this other woman to feel like he still has the one up on another person. This gives him a bit of a self-esteem boost because whenever he’s with the other woman, he doesn’t feel the need to try and equal her success. [Read: Does he feel emasculated by you? Check for these 14 signs and find out!]
#2 He thinks she’s doing it, too. Again, this may stem from insecurity and some form of paranoia. The guy cheats on his partner because he can’t seem to believe that someone who seems so perfect would just settle for him. He thinks that his partner must be cheating, and in turn, he does the same to her.
He may think that his relationship is too good to be true. So in his poorly conceived defense, he convinces himself that his partner can’t possibly be faithful to a guy such as him. Therefore, he preemptively cheats on her before she has the chance to do it to him. [Read: Paranoia is just one of the many telling signs of a toxic relationship]
#3 He feels ignored. The thing about a well-rounded woman is that she may have other activities that take up the time that the guy thinks he deserves. She may be busy with her career, with taking extra classes, with getting fit, and a bunch of other things that can actually make their relationship thrive.
So while his woman is out there improving herself, the guy is just sitting around and selfishly wallowing on the fact that he’s being neglected. When he’s done wallowing, instead of coming up with productive activities to do while his woman is busy, he goes out and finds another woman who can give him the attention he feels entitled to.
#4 His friends are doing it. Peer pressure can be the worst. A guy who hangs around with other guys who cheat may feel the need to prove himself to his gang. His pals may say that being faithful is boring, and that in order to assert their manliness, they have to sleep with as many women as they can.
The guy, not wanting to be the “loser” of the group, may acquiesce and find himself some girl who would agree to sleep with him. And even if he feels remorse, his pals may make him feel like he’s accomplished something. He gets positive reinforcement by being “one of the cool guys” so he keeps doing it to stay as “cool” as his friends. [Read: 13 signs that his friends may be ruining your relationship]
#5 The other woman gives him something his girlfriend can’t. There are some guys who just can’t seem to get over this one thing that their girlfriends can’t give them. Time, as mentioned earlier, is one of these things. Other things that his girlfriend may not be able to provide are a shared interest in certain activities or even s*xual acts.
Since the guy wants all the perks of being with his girlfriend, he finds another woman who will give him that one thing that his girlfriend can’t. For instance, he may be way more into sports than his girlfriend is. In not being able to get the sports rush with his number one, he goes to his number two to combine the thrill of his favorite sport with some mischief on the side. [Read: Even without the s*x, emotional cheating can also be a huge deal breaker]
#6 He just wants a new experience. There are cases where a guy just wants to check out what else the world has to offer to him in terms of s*xual conquests. He feels like the s*x with his girlfriend is turning into a boring routine, so he ventures out and looks for something new.
So instead of trying to spice things up with his girl, he goes out and hires a hooker or picks up a willing girl at the bar. These s*xual encounters may be purely experimental and involve no feelings. But it’s still considered cheating, and it can still hurt his woman if she finds out. [Read: Find out why some men get easily bored in their relationships]
#7 He can’t say no. The great woman may be dating a nice, polite and sweet guy. He’s always worried about not pleasing other people, and he only ever stands up for himself when he really needs to. Enter a woman who persists in getting what she wants at any cost. In order to not hurt her feelings, he may politely entertain her.
Entertaining the interests of another woman is a subject that’s still up for debate. But if the guy is too spineless to outrightly refuse this seductress, he may end up being swayed into cheating on his girlfriend, usually with a hefty dose of alcohol in the mix. Don’t get us wrong, it’s still his fault for not growing a pair at such a crucial time.
#8 “What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.” Sometimes the circumstances just fall into place so well that he can cheat without worrying about getting caught. For example, he’s alone on a business trip and he decides to sleep with a girl he met. Afterwards, they sever their ties and pretend that the whole thing didn’t happen.
This scenario can be so tempting for some guys that they just go ahead and do it. The problem with this is just because she doesn’t know, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It will hang on his conscience for the rest of his life. But for some guys, the extra weight on their conscience is completely negligible.
#9 He wants to leave her, but he needs a replacement. For whatever reason, this numbskull of a man may choose to leave a woman who’s already a catch. But instead of being a man and just saying what he feels outright, he feels like he needs a safety net to catch him when he jumps out of his relationship. That safety net can come in the form of another woman who’s willing to be his paramour until he gets the guts to leave his current girlfriend.
The problem with this flawed logic is that instead of coming clean and just ending things on good terms, he chooses to ruin it by involving a third party. His fear of not finding a replacement soon enough pushes him to make his two relationships overlap, thus hurting at least one of the two women he’s dating.
#10 He’s just a complete idiot. There are lucky men who attract wonderful women despite not being the usual kind of guy that these women would date. And what does he do with his incredible stroke of luck? He squanders it by cheating on her. Sometimes, this behavior is simply inexplicable. Maybe it’s just a habit. Maybe he’s not clever enough to realize just what a catch she is. And the only way to explain it is by concluding that he’s just dumber than a bag of hammers.
Knowing the reasons why these men cheat obviously won’t make their transgression any more forgivable. It does, however, allow you to anticipate the possible situations where the idea of cheating may enter his mind and push it out of his psyche before he even entertains the thought.
[Read: Ever wondered about the cheating woman’s side of the story?]
No one deserves to get cheated on, least of all those who are doing their best to take care of their men. In an ideal world, great women will end up with wonderful partners who will cherish and adore them. But let’s face it, sometimes even the beauty gets stuck with a beast.